The Bartender Hates You

HARSH but fair: The bartender may act all nice on the outside, but there are many things they bitch about constantly. Although we may do some of these things to, you know, keep our job, contrary to our smiling faces, we hate it, and we hate you.

1. We don’t give birthday drinks if you ask. If it’s your birthday, you’re no different to any other customer
2. We don’t give free drinks if you’re hot or flirt with us
3. We don’t like making cocktails when it’s busy
4. The customer is always right during the day, but the bartender is always right during the night
5. If we say you’re drunk, you’re drunk. Don’t try and make a deal with us, we will not serve you
6. Don’t tell us how to make a drink. We make a drink the way we want to
7. Don’t dribble about how you work in a bar as well and you know how to do things better. We don’t care what you do for a living. When your in our bar, you deal with what we give you
8. We pour to wine to the line. Don’t bother trying to convince us otherwise.
9. We don’t like splitting drink orders. But if we must, do it all at once and we’ll split it later. Don’t let us make a drink, give it to you, charge you. Then go back and make another drink, give it to you, charge you and so on.
10. If you spill your drink. You pay for a new one. You don’t like it, you’re drunk